The Shopping Cart Story

Due to popular demand, (in that approximately four people have expressed an interest in hearing about it) I give you The Shopping Cart Story.

Who among us has not experienced either bumping into or being bumped into by a shopping cart? Considering the wide carts and narrow aisles of most stores I'm pretty sure it is a commonplace occurrence. I think the situation normally unfolds something like this:

Unsuspecting shopper, a.k.a. Bumpee, "Hey!" or "Ouch!" or "What the...?!"

Wayward shopper, a.k.a. Bumper, "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

Bumpee (noting that clearly it was an accident that the other shopper hit them and not some form of attack):  "It's okay, I'm fine."

Possible exchange of further pleasantries, then everyone continues on their way without giving it another thought.

Unless of course you are me.  In that case the situation goes something like this:

While leaving the warehouse club with my massive shopping cart, four children and husband, I swerved to avoid clueless woman standing in the way and ACCIDENTALLY bumped into another woman that I didn't see. Obviously.

Bumpee: "OUCH!!!!"

Me (feeling absolutely horrible at realizing that I've just hit someone): "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!"

Bumpee:  Blink...  Blink blink... blink... tearfully and wordlessly stares at me...

Me: "I'm so sorry.  I'm... really sorry."

Bumpee: Blink...blink...blink blink... 

Me (waiting for her to realize that the whole thing was an accident and that the baby's car seat was blocking my line of vision, i.e. where she was standing, motionless): "Are you okay?"

Bumpee: "NO!!!! That REALLY hurt!" Continues tearful staring... (while showing no signs whatsoever of ACTUALLY being hurt).

Me (realizing that this situation has quickly fallen out of the realm of normal): "I'm really sorry - I just didn't see you there."

Bumpee: "I KNOW, but it still HURTS!" 

Me (also realizing that this woman has possibly lost all touch with reality and is never going to accept my apology): "I'm really, really sorry - I didn't mean to bump (key word there - "bump," "tap" could also be substituted) into you. I just didn't see you." (STANDING IN MY WAY!!!!). 

Bumpee: Continues to tearfully stare at me as if I have just run over her cat.  On Purpose.  Several times.

This horribly uncomfortable exchange continues for what seems like an eternity.  I finally look over at my husband who has a similar look of shock on his face as to how it is that things have gone so awry...and we quickly exit the store.

We almost make it back to our van before our conversation of "what the hell was that?!" begins.  First, I confirm that my husband did, in fact, witness the same strange display and that the woman's reaction was DEFINITELY disproportionate to what actually occurred.  This conversation continues throughout most of the day as we periodically replay the event in our minds and feel a need to laugh about it some more.  We stop at another store on our way back home and I'm slightly afraid that the woman has somehow followed us and will continue to NOT accept my apology for the rest of my life.  I tell my husband that I'm really glad he was there because otherwise no one would ever believe the magnitude of strangeness in what happened.

So there it is.  How a simple shopping adventure suddenly turned into a scene out of The Twilight Zone.  In case you think that I'm a horrible monster, I did pray for the woman - nothing specific, just a general prayer that she is (mentally? physically?) okay.

Happy shopping everyone! 

~ Dori